does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize