Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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