Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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