No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
