Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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