walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
