"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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