um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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