where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
