I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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