I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
