my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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