I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
bring money and cleavage
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
