How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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