I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
