I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This is classic penis vs brain.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
