Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There r osticjed everywhere
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
