would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
