ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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