the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
