I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
