I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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