Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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