You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
