My brain says no but my pants say off.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
