We're facebook friends in real life
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
