Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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