You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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