he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
