People in love make me want to vomit
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
