you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
