there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
