also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Found the puke drawer
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
