I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
