Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
