yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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