You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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