jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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