we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
