First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
