She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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