I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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