Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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