Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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