am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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