hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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