capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
