I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
