Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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