That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
