Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
