after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
