I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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