My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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