12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
