i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
