I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
