I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I did not marry a roomba.
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