Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i think my cat just said my name.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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