U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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