he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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