people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bring money and cleavage
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
