So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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