I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
