So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
