when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
