You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
