She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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