She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize