i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
