just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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