hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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