He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
