We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
