if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
