see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I believe in your delicious
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
