Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
