where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
