just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm always down for nudity.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
