So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
