he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
